Parents often expect there to be a number, and are unsettled to find there is not one. So let me explain why that is, and what to use instead.

There is no official guideline

There is no official portion size guideline for the under ones.

That is because all babies are different. They are growing at different rates and they need different amounts. A single number would be wrong for most of them.

Portion guides do exist for the over ones, and those are what we look at when planning and analysing the V&Me menus to make sure a child is getting what they need for their age.

Let your baby set the amount

What replaces the number is responsive feeding. Your baby will tell you when they have had enough.

The signals are usually clear once you are looking for them:

• Closing their mouth.
• Turning their head away.
• Pushing food away.

That is your baby saying they have had enough, and it is worth respecting rather than pushing for more.

Appetite fluctuates, and that is normal

Appetite will vary, and babies can sometimes start refusing foods they previously liked. That is frustrating as a parent, and it is well within the realms of normal.

Some patterns to expect:

• Appetite may increase when your baby is being more active, such as learning to crawl or working on other milestones.
• Appetite may drop when they are teething, when they are poorly, or in hot weather.

All of that is perfectly normal, and the approach is to go with the flow rather than to correct it.

At the very start, they eat very little

At the beginning of weaning, babies eat very little. This is normal and expected.

What matters is not the quantity on any given day but that they are making small bits of progress over time.

Assume some of it will not be eaten

You also have to factor in that not all of what you offer gets eaten. Some of it will be on the wall, on the floor and on you.

Squishing food, pushing it around, throwing it and using hands rather than a spoon are all completely normal. Food based messy play is genuinely important for the acceptance of food.

Look at the week, not the day

The most useful shift is to stop assessing individual meals. Most babies are really good at regulating their own appetites.

If you feed responsively, listen to your baby's cues and look at the whole week rather than a single day, the picture usually looks much more reassuring than any one mealtime does.

Why pressure backfires

Fearing your baby has not eaten enough is one of the most common reasons parents come to see me, and it tends to lead to specific behaviours: longer, extended mealtimes, occasionally force feeding, or reverting to giving more milk.

None of those help. Babies pick up on parental anxiety very easily, and pressure at mealtimes tends to move things backwards rather than forwards.

Extra milk is particularly counterproductive, because milk blocks iron absorption and can reduce appetite for the solids that are increasingly doing the nutritional work.

Variety rather than volume

In the under ones, the goal is variety instead of volume. Getting a wide range of tastes and textures in during the window when your baby is most receptive is more valuable than any particular amount going in at any particular meal.