Before your child starts nursery you will have plenty of forms to fill out. Allergies get documented properly, as they should. What often gets missed is the everyday context around eating, and that is frequently the more useful information for staff.
Share any concerns right from the start
It is really important to share whether you have any concerns about your child's feeding from the beginning. Not once a problem develops, but before they start.
If you have concerns about their eating or their growth, raise them beforehand so nursery can work with you. It is worth being realistic here: starting nursery will not usually change things overnight, so a shared plan is more useful than hoping the new environment will fix it.
The everyday detail staff find useful
These are the things worth mentioning that parents often assume are not relevant.
Eating habits at home
What a normal day looks like. What they eat, how they eat, and how mealtimes usually go.
Your meal patterns
Do you have quite different meal patterns from what nursery is likely to run? Are they used to eating very late?
Milk intake
Do they still drink quite a lot of milk in the morning? Do they have a lot of milk overnight? This is worth flagging because it may affect their appetite at nursery. It is one of the most common explanations for a child not eating much during the day, and staff cannot know it unless you tell them.
Anything you are already worried about
If your child is refusing whole food groups, or eating a very limited range, say so. Staff can then look out for it rather than discovering it slowly.
Keep them updated afterwards
Keep nursery updated if anything changes at home that could affect your child's appetite. A disrupted sleep pattern, a period of illness, a change in milk intake, or anything unsettling at home is all relevant.
Have a conversation as soon as they start about any concerns you have, and keep that channel open. Open communication is so important. Staff are very experienced in looking after children and can often suggest things that had not occurred to you.
Ask for consistency, and offer it
Using the same strategies at home and at nursery really helps children feel positive and develop good eating habits. It also reduces confusion around food.
If you are doing something very different at home while they are having completely different mealtimes at nursery, that confusion sets in. Children love to know what to expect, so the more consistent the two settings are, the better.
That is a two way conversation. It is reasonable to ask what approach nursery takes at mealtimes, so you can mirror it at home.
One request about feedback
When you are getting feedback at nursery about your child's eating, try to have that conversation away from the child, so they are not hearing what is being said about them.
If a child is constantly hearing about how little they ate, or what they did not manage, or what they left, they will internalise it. It can influence how they feel about food and about themselves.
For the same reason, try not to label a child as picky or fussy, and ask that staff avoid it too.
Reasonable expectations for settling in
Some refusal at the start is completely normal. It is a transition, and children are often more willing to accept regular mealtimes and try unfamiliar foods once they have settled, but it can take a little time.
The point at which to raise it again is if refusal continues and continues, and cannot be explained by a normal settling in period. If it is going on, it is unusual, and you are worried they are not having anything, that is when you need more support.
Where to get further advice
If you are unsure whether what you are seeing is normal fussiness or a feeding difficulty, it is worth speaking to a dietitian. I do quick catch up calls with parents through V&Me if you want to run something past me.
It is also worth seeing your GP if you have concerns about constipation or iron, because both affect appetite and can make the whole situation worse.
